The “Hire Me, Please” Process
Several subtle metaphors exist in the language we use to describe the process by which a person becomes employed.
Job Hunt: one pursues a job with the intent of capturing or killing
one’s prey the job. Suggests an element of danger, stealth, cunning, and possibly a pointy weapon.
Job Search, also Looking for Work: one seems to have misplaced one’s job, and if only one searches hard/long enough, that job will become un-lost.
I prefer the term “The ‘Hire Me, Please’ Process.” I have no prey, no Perfect Job that I’m destined for, and no bow and arrows. I haven’t lost anything. Instead, I engage in a lengthy preparation-and-communication process by which I throw countless emails, resumes, and cover letters out into the ether, begging employers I can reach to “Just Hire Me, Please!”
Understanding that many many people, especially my age, are in this exact same position doesn’t make me feel much better, so find comfort where I can. By brewing endless pots of green tea and taking frequent crochet breaks. Because even though I can’t make myself into a successful employed person overnight, I can make cool stuff out of yarn.